1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT.
Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable
scientific objectivity.
2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES.
Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness andreassurance he can get.
3. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED.
Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
5. NEVER ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS DOING OR WHY HE IS DOING IT.
It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained interms that you would understand.
6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY.
Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paperwill surely be of widespread interest.
7. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY.
You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly, to thewell-being of physicians and other humanitarians.
8. DO NOT SUFFER FROM AILMENTS THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD.
It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond your means.
9. NEVER REVEAL ANY OF THE SHORTCOMINGS THAT HAVE COME TO LIGHT IN THE COURSE OF TREATMENT BY YOUR DOCTOR.
The patient-doctor relationship is a privileged one, and you have a sacred dutyto protect him from exposure.
10. NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR DOCTOR'S PRESENCE OR UNDER HIS DIRECT CARE.
This will only cause him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.
After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable toget it up anymore. He goes to his doctor, his doctor tries a few thingsbut nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him "this is all in your mind", and refers himto a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses "I am at a loss asto how you could possibly be cured."
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this", and throws some powder ona flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke....
The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use itoncea year! All you have to do is say '1 2 3' and it shall rise for as longas you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens after when its over?".
The witch doctor says "all you have to say is '1 2 3 4' and it will godown". "But be warned it will not work again for a year!"
This guy goes home and that night is ready to surprise his wife with thegood news... So he is lying in bed with her and says "1 2 3", andsuddenly he gets a hard-on.
His wife turns over and says "What did you say '1 2 3' for?"
Sexually Active!
While assisting in an exam on a young women who was presented to the ER with lower abdominal pains, the doctor asked her if she were sexually active. The young woman appeared slightly embarrassed by the question, but replied, "No, I just lay there."
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are thebest of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But Iwould like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is verykind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see thatprescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."
Back to Medjokes
Back to Medstudents' Homepage